Our first night...

Amidst a hellishly busy day with deadlines, both Steve and I had dinner at our new house. We first walked through the fallen cottage cheese debris, then used a table that the previous owner had left out in the backyard. With one of Steve's Tinkerbell blankets as the table cloth-- as in, he drew the image that was used, not that we own a ton of them-- we then set out a bottle of wine from last year's Santa Barbara wine country trip and a picnic dinner from Joan's on Third: grilled chicken breast, heirloom tomatoes with buffalo mozzarella, penne pasta, a Gruyere cheese and onion tart, and of course some flourless chocolate cake for dessert.

La-de-dah.

The food was great, sitting in our candle lit backyard was gorgeous, and just realizing that this was indeed OUR backyard finally set in. It made for a very nice night.

Then we went home and saw Alias, my computer broke down and is now in the shop, and I got a crapload of notes on my article for CARGO magazine. God! Can we get a little break here? We're supposed to paint on Sunday for cryin' out loud!

The only upside is the Xanadu party is tonight. Good times. I hope to take photos.

TODAY IS THE DAY!

Today escrow closes and Steve and I will be homo-owners. Very fun! Tomorrow comes the handyman action where they will scrape the cottage cheese off our ceiling. If all goes well, Sunday we'll have a paint party and Monday they begin putting in the new floors. I'm very excited about this whole thing, which is strange because for both Steve and I it's been a very surreal experience, like something that's happening around us but not to us. Wacky! Hopefully I'll have some photos this weekend of our work in progress.

My eye is still puffy, though it wasn't as bad by the end of day yesterday. This morning, the swelling had moved to the right side of my left eyelid. I'm telling people I was punched by my boxing teacher. Sadly, I have not yet exhibited spider powers, but I continue to fling myself at a wall to see if I stick. I will continue experimenting and let you know the results.

I don't know if you've noticed this, but when I post items on my blog I get these responses from people saying things like, "Cool blog... Check out this one!" with a link. Or even better, "I like black women with big titties! Check out this site!" I have no idea how these sales sites do it or why they pick on me. Perhaps because I use naughty words. If you guys have any idea on how to block them, please let me know. I want people to be able to post responses, but I don't want to have these stupid sales links.

Thanks.

It's a day of transcribing stories from hurricane relief workers. Some pretty intense stuff. Later.

My big fat eye & Q TV

Hey Kids,

I woke up this morning with the biggest left eye ever! It looks like I got punched, which I didn't, but I went to boxing this morning so that will be my excuse if anyone asks. I think a mosquito or something stung it. Maybe a spider. I could die from West Nile or have super powers right now and not even know it. I'll keep you updated.

Yesterday I did a big performance for Out Q Live and they pinned me as their gay Andy Rooney. Charmed, I'm sure. I think it went well but I went so deaf, dumb and blind during the performance that I don't even know if I stayed on topic. The other problem was that we didn't have a rehearsal and there wasn't really an audience to laugh so I don't know if I was funny or not. The world-famous Mamma was on the show and she complimented me, so I feel like it went well. Hopefully. I'll keep you updated.

This is a pic of Ann, the producer who originally brought me on the show, and me. I love her.

Nothing else to report. I just got a last minute major assignment from The Advocate about G&L relief workers who went to help hurricane victims, but it's due Friday, so now I'm making lots of last-minute calls trying to find some people to interview. Crazy. And we get the keys to our house tomorrow-- though we won't be going in until Thursday-- so I'm just a little wigged out.

Goodbye.

Funny random things

I love the website Junk Feud, and they do some super funny stuff, like this segment on celebrity-way calling. Below is just a sample. Check out the link for the longer version. Tres humar.



In other news, check this out from Michael Ausiello at TV Guide:
Star Jones is donating her Emmy gown to the Clothes Off Our Back Foundation to benefit victims of Hurricane Katrina. And because of the kindness of this deed, I will refrain from making a joke at her expense or even speculating about how much a Marc Bauer tent might fetch at auction.

I love a good bitch! God bless Michael!

Finally, I've been asked to return to On Q Live and I'll be ranting about the moment when one goes from being a sweet young thing to being called a Daddy! Let me tell you, it ain't pretty, but I'm ready to take on the topic. Hopefully this will also lead to a regular gig. We'll see.

That's it for now. Off to watch some season premieres.

On the pulse... Kind of.

Look at what Gallery of the Absurd (www.galleryoftheabsurd.typepad.com) created. See, and you all thought I was just silly to make the joke. No, I'm on the PULSE, and you should really check out their site for amazing stuff. The PULSE, you see... THE PULSE!

Okay, that's so not true. Did I mention that we were supposed to be at the Entertainment Tonight Emmy party but that got changed at the last minute? Yeah, our friend had to give up his two extra tickets (and our gift bags) so we're not REALLY on the pulse, we're more like the IV drip.

But I am going to be ranting about getting old during On Q Live next Tuesday. They have asked me back and I'm thrilled. I just wish someone got the channel and could actually see if I'm fun on camera. I'm not sure how long I'll really be on-- for all I know I could end up doing more than one segment again-- but that's what I've got. I'll keep you updated.

The 25th Anniversary of Xanadu is happening and there's a party at the Alex Theater in Glendale Friday the 30th. Go to www.alextheater.org for more info, but they promise dancers, costumes, and fun. We've told all our friends, including author Dennis Hensley, and between his friends and ours that alone will fill up the space. The Alex is also a really beautiful theater so if you like archetecture it's a place to see. We can't wait. I won't be wearing leg warmers, but I know it will be fun.

Oh, and we get the Princess Cupcake house next week. As you can tell, it's all gotten a little insane on our end. PLUS the premiere episode of LOST, America's Next Top Model, and Martha Stewart's The Apprentice are tonight. Yeah, I have no idea how I'll be able to write about all these things and fit my freelance work in. Perhaps I'll keep my laptop with me as we watch. Anyway, if you kids have thoughts on any of the new season shows, drop me a line and we shall discuss.

Talk soon.

Ursula makes a Splash at Emmy's!

So the Emmy's happened and there wasn't anything too exciting except for E! giving Ursula from Disney's The Little Mermaid a job! Isn't she wonderful? If you didn't watch the pre carpet show on E!, Star asked supremely inane questions of the guests, and I know celebs want to feel safe and all that nonsense, but really, she was asking Jennifer Love Hewitt is she was a nervous eater before shows like this? What does JLH have to be nervous about? She should be thankful she's got a freakin' job! And p.s., you ain't hearing a lot about her new show Ghost Whisperer-- and it's not because it's a secret-- so we'll see how long that lasts.

I don't begrudge Jennifer, I sort of think she would love Steve and I and we'd all have wine together, but my point is that Star was wasting her and every other celebs time. P.U.! She was too much about trying to be their friends and not really doing much. "What dress did you wear?" Okay, we got it. You can ask that one real fast, everyone's ready for it, and move on. She even brought her dog out at one point. That poor animal was probably freaking out with all the noise, flashes, and seeing Momma out from under the sea.

Oh, and did anyone catch the fact that she never once called up to Kathy Griffin who was also hosting? She did her damndest to ignore Kathy and I think the show was just sort of tired as a result. The joy when Joan Rivers was there is that we hoped Melissa would die. Just kidding (well, um...). The joy was that you never quite knew what was going to be said, but at the same time she was fun with the hosts. Star is as white as white can be. She's Wonderbread who can throw on a little 'hood voice when Halle Barry arrives, but has no peanut butter and jelly otherwise. Yuck!

Steve and I saw her husband at the LA Confidential Party on Saturday night. She was probably there but whatever; didn't see her. Now I'm not gonig to say the man is gay-- I've certainly never slept with him and don't intend to because of any Ursula voo doo (and he's not my type)-- but let me just say that I act butch compared to him. Oh yeah. Like I'm a model of masculinity. Kind of tragic. The only reason we turned and saw him at all is that this was a party loaded with young chicks carring titty-titty bang-bang and so when you get that vibe... that feeling... you know, when someone's checking your bum (we gays can feel it, ya see), you turn. And there he was. Hmm... But if I have to say it once I'll say it three times ("Got that? THREE times!") I don't know if he's gay or not. But, UGH, even if he is she can keep him.

Teri Hatcher was also at the LAC party and she's just lovely. So was Greg Grunberg from Alias, and no I didn't gush over the show or ask what he feels about pregnant and puffy Jen with Ben. Besides, I've seen him out before, he's just this total normal guy you'd feel good about your sister dating. Instead, Steve and I hung out with friends, had lots of free drinks, took the gift bag and left. I sitll haven't met a single person I work with at that magazine-- it was WAY too crowded to locate anyone-- but at least I got a few perks from the job. Good times.

A surprise bit of Emmy Awards "I want that job" moment came with Eva Longoria. She was beautiful in this simple "Oh Mighty Isis" costume that her friend sewed; actually, I don't know if it was a friend but the person was described as "A new designer" which usually means "friend" because God knows someone with her body and camera time could get a high-end designer so she chose this. Good on you! Help a friend!

Eva, I'm a writer looking for some better paying gigs. Help a brother out.

You see, that's the thing these awards shows do to me. I always end up feeling like I'm a loser and have no career. I'm motivated to stop writing all these little nonsense articles for smaller magazines to focus on something bigger that will really score me some bank and perhaps even a screenplay career... of course that would imply I pay the rent without those smaller jobs and a choice. Ugh. I sometimes hate this business and what I can allow it to do with my self esteem. My next book goes out in a week or so. Let's all just say a prayer that it sells and I have a project to focus on.

Finally, Ellen is a comic I adore, but the Emmy's just didn't seem to exploit her very well. I'm a willing audience, and she just didn't do anything too fantatsic. The opening monologue was like watching her show-- a few good moments but nothing too amazing. It was kind of sad for me, especially because Chris Rock was so good at the Oscars and it raised the level for hosts. Oh well, what can you do? Maybe these shows make Ellen depressed as well.

I have to go and write an article for one of these small magazines now. Don't worry, these feelings of failure usually pass in an hour. Or when I get a paycheck. Whichever comes first.

The World of Sid & Marty Krofft

We went to the LAC party last night but I'll blog about that a little later. For now, I wanted to connect anyone who loved the Krofft Superstars Show with a website set up by a guy who actually visited The World of Sid & Marty Krofft amusement park. Here's what this guy says about it and his site:

The World of Sid & Marty Krofft was a fanciful indoor amusement park located in the Omni International complex in Atlanta, Georgia USA. Opened in 1976, it operated for less than a year before closing to the public forever. Here are some of the things I brought back from my family's summer 1976 vacation trip to Atlanta.

How much do I LOVE that someone saved this stuff? It's kind of crazy and it makes me want to know even more about the park because it looks very Cirque du Soliel... only different. Like from the 1970s. The next time Steve and I run into Sid at our gym we'll try to ask him about it. Anyway, rather than copy all of this guy's pics and repost them here, if you're interested click on the guy's website and check it out for yourself.

"Everybody there wears a hat... Everybody knows where it's at..."

The Emmys, the President, and marriage

It's Emmy weekend in LA so Steve and I are slated for bunches of fun. I'll be delivering full reports as they happen for your enjoyment; let's all pray my spy camera works. Saturday is the Los Angeles Confidential party with Teri Hatcher. Finally! My career in magazines is paying off (I write the "Around Town" column for LAC). I can't wait to tell Teri I loved her as a Love Boat Cheerleader. Then on Sunday we have another fete that is going to be sweet and have gift bags! I loves me a good gift bag!


My friend, Mike, sent me this pic from an actual news broadcast. Kind of says it all, doesn't it? I know I don't do too many political riffs here, but I really hope the public becomes educated about publicists-- I deal with them every day so I'm speaking with some perspective here. You can clearly see how the White House publicity machine is coaching the Pres on how to handle the crisis and take deliberate photo ops with light-skinned black people who probably weren't even in the disaster zone so that he looks compassionate. It's a sham, The Wizard of Oz, Wagging The Dog, and if you think he gives a damn about the poor then you're a fool.

So that squinchy faced actress who had the music supervisors use Pro-Tools so that she could sing in Chicago and Down With Love, Renée Zellweger, is getting a divorce. Oh yeah, she married for a week and is now divorcing. It's illegal for queers to wed because that would taint the meaning of marriage (heh... "taint") but it's fine for people like Renée or Britney Spears to marry on a whim. Wondering if God was actually pleased, I asked him.

ME: God, are you happy with this marriage?
GOD: Shut up, fag.

See, God DOES love them more and supports their union. At least they remained virgins until marriage. How sweet. If you want a longer story on the subject, my man with the plan, Rodney, sent me this story:

Zellweger, Chesney: Over
by Joal Ryan
Sep 15, 2005, 2:45 PM PT

A week ago, Renée Zellweger was "happily married." But in the whirlwind romantic life of the Oscar-winning actress, a lot can happen in seven days.

As of Thursday, Zellweger and country star Kenny Chesney were seeking to annul their marriage, her publicist said.

The reports are true. They are having the marriage annulled," Ryder told E! News. "There are no further details."

The couple marked their four-month anniversary last Friday.

Zellweger, 36, and Chesney, 37, wed May 9 in the beach in the Virgin Islands. The bride wore a strapless Carolina Herrera; the groom, a black Stetson.

The ceremony, held in front of friends and family, came about five months after the couple met at a tsunami relief benefit in January.

"I am incredibly happy," Chesney said at the time. "I may well be the luckiest man alive. To be so in love with someone who is so perfect for me. It's just hard to imagine that I'm not going to wake up."

Three days later, Chesney resumed his "Somewhere in the Sun" tour.

Last week, Britain's Daily Mail estimated that Zellweger and Chesney had spent 15 days together since their wedding. Caught by the newspaper on the red carpet for the London premiere of Cinderella Man, Zellweger, who attended the event solo, batted away rumors of a marriage in swift decline.

"I'm happily married," Zellweger said, per the paper, "but I don't talk about it because I want to keep my precious things precious."

Loving Portland

I just returned from Portland and had one of the most beautiful times of my life. The city is fantastic, the people are amazingly low-key and friendly, and the book signings were well attended and fun. My only regret was that young Steve couldn't be there, and knowing that he was home working on Princesses while I was gallivanting around town made me sad.

The adventure began when my friend, Taerie (pictured below with me and a fish), picked me up and drove me to the Mark Spencer Hotel, which is a cute little boutique. Because Taerie lives in the woods and doesn't drive much, I worried that she might arrive with oxen and a cart. Fortunately, she came in a new car and we didn't die on the way; almost, but not quite.

I was staying on the "artists rate" at the Mark Spencer, so I had a lovely view of the alley, but as Taerie pointed out, in case of a fire I could jump out the window and repel down the small wall and survive. You see, it's all about having a glass-half-full experience.

Shortly after I arrived I grabbed lunch and then connected with Byron Beck, who it turns out is the Mayor of Portland. Actually, he's not, but he knows everyone. Literally. No seriously, this isn't a joke. First we toured a bunch of his favorite shops in downtown-- which I will tell you more about tomorrow-- then he took me over to the Portland Institute of Contemporary Art (PICA) which is hosting the Time-Based Art event (TBA). This is an H-O-T (as in "hot" and I wanted to try and be funny while using capital letters) event filled with performance art, musicians, and just a bunch of funky cool happenings. Byron introduced me to the PICA people, a bunch of other hippies, someone from Melbourne, a restaurant owner, some other guys in funny clothes with accents, and then he and his partner, Juan, took me to some performance art that evening... But first, the readings.

In Beaverton, nobody showed up. Just kidding, there were many women sitting in the audience and a whole collection of gays-who-aren't-gay fluttering among the stacks and watching me. Of course, I had to say hi to them and they immediately scurried away. Nice. But the turnout was great and I have to thank Mike, the manager at Borders, who invited me up after seeing me on TV Land. Such a great guy who made me feel quite at home.

Okay, now on to the performance art. I saw act one of I've Got a Bulletproof Heart where Kenny Mellman, of the punk cabaret act Kiki and Herb, performed as Grace Jones. There were some awesome moments, and the only reason I didn't take pictures is that whenever I think of performance art I recall the time in San Diego where this woman shoved a yam up her bum. I don't recall what her story was about but I worried that this might be the same sort of performance, so I didn't bring my camera. Fortunately, it wasn't. Bravo!

We then hung out while act two happened, and I spent time meeting Byron and Juan's friends. I can't get over how sweet they all were, so warm and welcoming. I also love that Juan adores Xanadu, Grease 2 and numerous other movies as much as Steve and I. Again, sadness that the man wasn't there to sing the Pink Ladies song with us.

The next day was work, lots of it, because I'm still trying to finish the Comic-Con Update. That night we had the reading in downtown Portland, and while Byron and Dan, the District Manager of Borders who is standing with me in this pic and is an all-around great guy, were sad more people didn't show I was thrilled that people came at all. Besides, these weren't all friends of friends, they were people who read about me in the newspapers and just attended. It was very flattering. I also tried out some material from my next book project, and to see people genuinely touched and affected by the words was something I don't experience too often.

With my writing it tends to be the joke, the snap-snap-punch line sort of material, so to see this sort of reception was touching and humbling. I think it's a great lesson to learn because we all have these stories or art or some sort of internal expression living within us that we don't always dig into for whatever reason. But it's those moments that touch the lives of others, and if any of you have been thinking about creating something I suggest you do it now. Don't wait. The rewards are fantastic.

Anyway, last night Byron and Juan took me to Salon Q, this swank place where the gays with money go once a month. We hung out with friends Scott and Carl, who along with Juan and Byron are in this picture (That's Daniel in the front row and he just heard me on the radio and decided to attend. God bless.). Oh, and there was young Mitch at dinner. Ahh, to be 22 again and wonder if your hair is too big. I asked if he liked black men (among other things). He quickly left. Then he came back. Like herpes. Curious.

So now I'm home, and while I'm happy to see Steve I already miss Portland. I hope that both of us can return soon.

Mondo Oregon

The date has finally arrived! It's time for my big whoopla in Oregon. If you're in town, please join me for a super fun Mondo Homo reading. I've gotten more press off this event than any of the other ones, like this one from the terrific Byron Beck at Willamette Week . But God, that Village People picture sure as hell gets around, don't it?

Here are the details...

Monday, September 12 at 7pm
Borders #152 (western suburbs)
2605 Cedar Hills Blvd
Beaverton, Oregon
(503) 644-6164

Tuesday, September 13 at 7pm
Borders #65 (downtown Portland)
708 SW 3rd Avenue
Portland, Oregon
(503) 220-5911

I'll be blogging about my adventures while I'm there and taking pics for both the blog and my website, so if you're coming be prepared to smile. Thanks!

Porn Stars and Yard Sales

Only in LA will porn stars show up to your yard sale. Okay, maybe in San Francisco, but that’s a queer town, ya see, so that doesn't count.

The back story: Our friends Phil and Eric (above) who live down the block are moving to a loft downtown, so they invited Steve and I to join in on their yard sale. For this we thank them because they had the space to do it, we did not, and more people make for a better display. Shortly after set up, my friend Matt came tooling by because last week I said to him, "Come buy our crap." And he did (God bless him)-- in fact, he bought one of Steve's Disney record sets even though he's not a big Disney freak but he loves records and the box set was in pretty great condition. But who does he bring with him?

This photo is of Matt on the right, but behind him on the left is retired (I think-- I didn't ask) porn star, Blake Harper. I am familiar with his work, and I have also met many celebs (both of the clothed and nude varieties) and I have to say that Blake was quite charming. He wasn’t at all, "Yeah, you like that, don't you...?" (boom, chicka chicka, boom) as one might expect. He even laughed at my jokes. Anyway, for all you homos and bisexuals who didn't come by, you missed out. Here's a pic of Blake from the front so you can imagine the whole package...or at least the face part of it.

I must give props to my gal Amy, who arrived with two dozen donuts to help promote sales. I ate two. Granted, she was actually driving home from last night rather than simply waking up at the crack of ass to be a good friend, but unlike her roommate who promised us margaritas when he was drunk last week, she actually showed up (It's okay, her roommate employs me so I can't bitch at all.) Anyway, this pic is of Amy with Steve as they discuss living a low-carb lifestyle, and her trip to Costa Rica where she was nailed in the lip by her surfboard and had to get stitches at some sleazy clinic that didn’t have anesthesia. She was with her friend Troy who, unlike Steve and I, doesn't carry painkillers on him in case a cocktail flies past. Cheers!

The hagglers weren't too bad and the people who showed up were amazing. For example, I was selling my old SCA garb and this one 70+ year-old woman bought my formal court garb because she thought I was such a talented sewer and it was so pretty. I just love that this woman will be in Rite Aid and wearing a costume that I wore at Renaissance Faire and SCA wars from 18-22. But also, there was the woman in this photo. Yes, you would think that this picture is of me, but Steve and I have a trick where if we see FABulous people, generally women, he'll pretend to be taking a picture of me but in actuality be snapping them so that we can remember the person. And even though she didn't buy anything, I still kind of think of her as one of my favorites.

Oh, and we sold enough of our stuff to pay for both movers and paint for the rooms... Huzzah!

Post Holiday Anxiety

Steve and I spent Labor Day weekend working. He's on a major deadline drawing Princess pictures and I've got some big articles due, mainly for the Comic-Con in San Diego. No matter how well I plan, I always seem to get to this point where I'm feeling anxious because there's too much work do to. It makes me want to crawl into bed and hide, which is especially NOT helpful when you have a deadline. Sometimes this freelance life stinks. P.U.!

AND I have this reading on the 12 & 13 in Oregon and I don't know if anyone will show up... (I hate it when I cause myself anxiety. Phooey!)

Oh, but my new friend Dominik sent me Swiss chocolate from Swiss town. YUM!

So last night after a lot of work, Steve and I went out for dinner and ran into Kim Woodburn from the UK and US show How Clean is Your House? We were having one-- got that ONE-- cocktail and she walked into The Abbey. I gasped so loud that Steve turned and gasped as well. You would have thought Kylie Minogue had walked in we geeked out so much, but I think she was thrilled with the moment because no one else knew who she was (or they were more polite. Hmmm...) I mean, really, I've met some major celebs and yet I freak out over the woman who sniffs peoples' carpets. Nice.

I'll be going to boxing in a bit but when I return I have to chat wth my editor at CARGO magazine. I'm writing an article on sunscreens that skiers should us. Okay, everyone, sing along with me... "Life's not, the French Riviera (believe me), Life's not a charity ball..." Yes, it's a living is all I can say. And they pay really well so I'm not complaining.

Anyone been to Perez Hilton's site recently? She's been off for a while, my e-mails are bouncing back, and that bothers me.

Oh, and we're having a garage sale on Saturday. If you're in LA, please come by and purchase items. LOTS of Disney Happy Meal toys, action figures, mugs, a drafting table, and fantastic wine glasses with black stems (sorry, Nagel print not included), and many more things that we are not taking with us. ALSO, tons of things on eBay
right now.

Shameless use of a blog, I know, but hooker gotta eat! Word!

Gossip & Funny Stuff - UPDATED

Mickey Mouse attempted suicide???
It's true, and leave it to my friend Ted in Las Vegas to keep me up on the subject. Here's what Ted writes:
A recently discovered series of Mickey Mouse comic strips from 1930 tell the story of Mickey thinking that Minnie is having an affair and culminate in Mickey repeatedly attempting suicide! This is no joke. These strips were real, and from the looks of things Uncle Walt came up with the idea himelf. Want to read the strips? Check out Mickey's attempted suicide!


My friend Benny sent me this e-mail. It made me laugh (and smile and blush but that's because I have a healthy ego).
So our office is a bit disrupted as we are moving desks, ect. for more efficiency. (I get a bigger desk)

As I am taking down my village people picture you sent me (only temporary), I have to tell you that everyone stops and takes a double take at the picture when they walk by and see it...the most popular comments are..."Hey are those the Village People" (no it's the cast of 8 is Enough dumbshit!). "Hey, he's hot!" and "I thought two of them were black!!!"

It's the little things that make me smile!
xoxo,
Benny

FYI - I am black. Sigh. Bunch'a racists!

Speaking of racist, Rodney Alexander Griffis has been culling the World Wide Web for info of interest. Here's the latest:

From dreamy Ted Casablanca at E! online.
George Clooney is rumored to have bought up one of Laguna Beach's oldest gay bars, the beloved Boom Boom Room . No, not to turn it into a lesbian Harley bar--but to raze it. For a fancy-schmancy oceanside B&B. That George. He seems to be concentrating more on real estate than on being a hunk these days. Can't say I blame him. (The returns are better, n'est-ce pas?) Ironically, you can see it on this poster, our good friend DJ Scotty K spins at the Boom regularly. Well, guess it's time to start hitting the pavement again for work. It's funny, though, because last year the Friendship, the oldest gay bar in LA, closed in Santa Monica. Both are/were beach bars and while I didn't go regularly it was nice to know they were there. Alas, it looks like the end of an era. Where will my people go when they need to take their shirts off?

From TVGuide online.
PHIL JR. HITCHED!: Jay McGraw, the 26-year-old son of TV psychobabbler Dr. Phil, is engaged to Playboy playmate Erica Dahm. After Junior popped the question on Aug. 26, Dahm — one third of the triplet Dahm sisters who appeared in the December 1998 Playboy — reportedly asked of the ring, "Oh gosh, is this real?" To which her intended replied, "Are those?" Nice!

And on last bit from TV Guide...
L&O CROSSOVER CONFIRMED: Wonder Woman's Lynda Carter and Sports Illustrated swimsuit-model-turned-thespian (calm down, boys, it means "actor") Estella Warren are confirmed to play mother and daughter on the Sept. 27 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, then carry their characters over to the following night's episode of Law & Order original brand. I hear that detectives Benson and Stabler will try to get their hands on that nifty truth-telling golden lasso.

Janice Dickinson's show

What Would Janice Do?

That's the question posed by the title of Janice Dickinson's show, and you know all super model and America's Next Top Model fans were there to see the train wreck. We wanted the crash and burn, the falling down, the coked out mess, and perhaps a shot of her hoo hoo. Well, it wasn't really there. No, not really.

First off, yes, Miss Tyra was in the house and try as I might, my crappy spy camera couldn't get a picture of her. (But here's a shot of the table she sat at.) Miss Tyra was with a whole entourage and she was wearing glasses... and no makeup. Now perhaps she left quickly because she didn't want fans to see her looking normal, or perhaps she didn't want to go up to Janice and say, "Great show!" like we often have to do in Hollywood when we hate something we've seen. Who can say. But a word of advice to anyone in this position? If you don't like your friend's show, say, "Oh my God! You must have been so excited!" or "You looked fantastic!" Compliment given, you didn't necessarily have to lie (Janice did look great) and your debt is paid.

But about the show. It started on time (by theater standards) and it was bascially broken into three parts where Janice riffed about various things. From Studio 54, banging Mick Jaggar, and bombing as a singer, to doing drugs, having kids, being a model and more, she hit it all. A couple times she said, "I don't do stand up. This is just me talking." True enough. In fact, that was sort of the problem.

Look, the woman has done more drugs in her life than all of the gay community put together, so she's fried, but I don't think she was high or anything on stage. People expect her to talk about the sex and drugs, and like anyone who is nervous on stage she immediately gravitated toward those easy jokes and topics. I do it myself. If all else fails or if insecurity wells up, go to the easy jokes because you know they'll get you a laugh and you can feel safe. She also has ADD like nobody's business and had trouble focusing, though once people cued her she could hit her riff and continue on. But there were also sparkling moments when people would ask her a question, say about Gia, the lesbian super model. At this point Janice got so into her story that she stopped with the jokes and it looked as though she might cry. There was a truth to her words and you could almost feel the passion and pain with her... almost. Then she would catch herself and go back to the one liners.

At the risk of being too academic, I would have loved it to be more like Inside The Actor's Studio where someone-- a journalist, for example-- kept her focused and on track so that she would get into the real grit of her stories. When I interviewed her for The Advocate her ADD wasn't that bad, she wasn't nervous, and I think if she could focus on one person and one person could moderate questions, it would have brought the show to a whole other level. Hopefully at some point we'll see that.

At the end, though, she came out and met the people who stayed so we got our pic with her. She then invited us up onto the stage and we took some more. Unfortunately, this spy camera is only good in the day, but at least we got some memories from the experience; of course, when we got home we excitedly e-mailed the photos to Steve's brother who said, "Who is that? A drag queen?" He was just jealous.