Funny Commercials Online From Comic-Con Winner!

As some of you know, I help produce a magazine for Comic-Con International in San Diego, and the new issue will be out shortly. In this latest installment I interviewed filmmaker, Hidetoshi Oneda, who won the Best Science Fiction/Fantasy Film Award at last year's Comic-Con International Independent Film Festival with his entry La Belle Dame Sans, which is based on a John Keats poem. The CCI-IFF focuses on genre films and is a great way for new creators to get their voices out. Hidetoshi currently lives in Tokyo, comes from an advertising background, and during my research I found a bunch of commercials he made.

My favorites are for Cal-King, which is a calcium fortified drink made by Coca-Cola. Here's his write up: "In general, Japanese kids do not drink a lot of milk, and as a result some do not get enough calcium in their diet. Calking was made to please the taste buds of Japanese kids, and yet be fortified with the same amount of calcium as milk."
You can check out Hidetoshi's website at www.celophaine.com, or his entire commercial reel under the "works" header-- some of his car stuff is pretty cool-- but his Cal-King material is really funny, especially if you like anime and other types of Japanese animated related humor (make sure to watch the squirrel sniffing in the end of the first commercial).

Wonder G-Man, Orthodox Jews, and Italian Food

This photo comes from superstar artist Glen Hanson of Chelsea Boys fame and numerous other cards and comics projects.

It was created for the cover of a New Zealand gay mag in celebration of their "HERO FESTIVAL". I told him he should ask my permission before using me as a model in the future, but since I do look so young and fit I'm willing to let it go this time.

This week I hit two restaurants for write ups in Metrosource and possibly EGO-LA (They're having some editorial issues and I don't know if they're replacing me or not. Welcome to the writer's journey...)

So I'm at this restaurant, which shall remain nameless, with the two publicists whose names I shall change to protect the innocent. We're drinking a lovely glass of wine, when this young Orthodox Jewish couple sat at a table that was on a slightly raised platform above us and to my left. Though there was a ledge, they could basically look down at what we were eating and hear our conversation if they wanted. And they did. Now that I think about it, they were probably reform Jews because they were eating out at night at a non-kosher restaurant but she had the whole Jew wig thing going on (which, if this were the Word of the Week section would be called a Jewig). But they were young and we were in Westwood by UCLA so they could have been students on a rebellious night out. Who can say?

Anyway, they're one of those non-talking couples that you watch and wonder why they're on a date, but when they had ordered we were in the process of discussing straight men and how they should treat women. So Maria-- who has a boyfriend-- and I are telling Jenny, the single publicist, that you have to find a guy who's willing to service a woman and not have it be all about poking away or taking care of him him. He's got to love ALL of the lady and enjoy loving all of the lady. Well, I notice that the Jouple is listening and Maria is not aware of it, but I egg her on so that she and I are now discussing good sex very enthusiastically. We were quite adamant and I think the Jouple started taking notes-- the girl literally unbuttoned the top of her high-neck sweater and he finally started talking to her. I felt like we were missionaries by the time we'd left our dinner.

Last night Steve and I had dinner at Bella Cucina, one of the Dolce restaurants in LA. I had reviewed them before for Metrosource and it was a great meal. The setting is dark and homey, with long rows of tables and booths that allow you to feel intimate and yet part of a larger gathering. They do have a giant screen TV on one side that proved distracting because Sharon Stone was one throwing chips in the air from the film Casino but otherwise the place i beautiful.

Steve had a brilliant arugula salad with long strips of Parmesan cheese over peppery greens that were chopped and tossed in a nice balsamic dressing. My caprese salad had fresh, sweet tomatoes, basil, and thick slices of fresh and creamy mozzarella cheese. Then for dinner Steve had the perogies in a slightly spicy tomato sauce while my farfalla pasta had chicken, sun-dried tomatoes, pieces of garlic and all in a lovely light sauce. Needless to say we didn't go to the gym this morning. The one thing to know is that Bella's food prices are fantastic! Nothing over $25. The downside? Wine is very pricey for what's essentially a corner restaurant, but the selection is luscious and our glass of pinot noir was wonderful.

Weekend time. I think I have to hit another episode this weekend because they're cranking up for production. We also have friends coming over so if we're smart enough to have the cameras going I'll post photos of our petite soirees this weekend.

Peace,
R

Betty Berzon, R.I.P.

Betty Berzon was a powerhouse. She was a long-time lesbian activist who really never stopped working to make the world a better place. I interviewed Betty a couple years ago when I wrote an Advocate cover story about the reality show Boy Meets Boy. Though it was a brief conversation, I found Betty to be thoughtful and eloquent, and I left our phone call feeling as though I'd spoken with a friend; I've interviewed a lot of people, and trust me when I say that's not a common thing.

While I could try to write about Betty's life, I'm not nearly as informed as I should be, so instead I'm printing the article I was sent from the Lambda Literary Foundation. I've also included some pictures of her books, and if you're interested in buying or reading more about them just click on the picture.

Photo from Betty Berzon in the ‘60s with Dr. Lawrence Solomon, her colleague at the Western Behavioral Sciences Institute. From Surviving Madness.
-------

Betty Berzon, 1928-2006

Pioneer gay rights activist, psychotherapist, and writer, Betty Berzon died peacefully in her sleep on January 24, 2006. She was 78.

Her tireless activism shaped the launch of numerous significant organizations that continue to impact and promote the well-being of the lesbian and gay community. She was architect and founder of Southern California Women for Understanding, as well as co-founder of California Gay Academic Union. She was a founding board chair of Gay and Lesbian Adolescent Social Services and board member of numerous gay and lesbian advocacy organizations, including the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center, where she developed a gay and lesbian peer counselor training program; Whitman-Radclyffe Foundation where she created the personal growth program that resulted in the book, Positively Gay (19; National Gay Rights Advocates, the first public interest law firm to focus on gay rights, and the Community Guild, a groundbreaking effort to assist low-income gay and lesbian seniors. She was also producer of Gaythink, the first national conference to bring together gay and lesbian faculty and student!
In 1971, during a UCLA conference called "The Homosexual in America," Berzon became the first psychotherapist in the country to publicly declare herself as a gay mental health professional. Today, Division 44 of the American Psychological Association has more than 1500 members.
An expert in small group process, Berzon worked with renowned researcher Evelyn Hooker to develop a series of encounter groups for gays and lesbians, called the Quest for Love. Later, she developed a series for Bell and Howell called The Encountertapes, a growth program for leaderless groups, which led to her first edited book, Encounter Groups: First Facts.

Berzon practiced psychotherapy with groups and couples for the last twenty-five years of her life, during which time she also wrote four more books, including the perennial best-selling Permanent Partners: Building Gay and Lesbian Relationships that Last (1988); The Intimacy Dance: A Guide to Long-Term Success in Gay and Lesbian Relationships (1996); Setting Them Straight : You CAN Do Something About Bigotry and Homophobia in Your Life (1996); and Surviving Madness: A Therapist's Own Story, which won the Lambda Literary Award for best autobiography in 2003.

Berzon is survived by her life partner of thirty-three years, Teresa DeCrescenzo. Also survived by her sister, Dr. Stephanie Miller of Lancaster Ohio; stepmother, Trude Berzon of Des Moines Iowa and North Palm Beach, Florida; stepsister Barbara Kaplan of North Palm Beach, Florida; cousins Sidney, Shirley, Jerry, Sandy, Mary, Dan, and Abbe Wool; and eight nieces and nephews.

Funeral services and interment will be held at Pierce Brothers Westwood Memorial Park, 1218 Glendon Avenue, on Friday, January 27 at 11:00 a.m.

A Celebration of Life will be held at the Omni Hotel, 251 South Olive Street, on
Sunday, February 26, at 5:00 p.m.

Teresa DeCrescenzo has requested that in lieu of flowers or other tributes, donations be made in Betty's honor to the following organizations:

Gay and Lesbian Adolescent Social Services
650 North Robertson Blvd.
West Hollywood, CA, 90069

Lambda Literary Foundation
P.O. Box 1957
Old Chelsea Station
New York, NY, 10113

Richard's Telenovela TV show!

Evidentally, our little telenovela is really becoming well known and my friend Amy Witry sent me this article. It explains how the shows will operate in the US market in much better terms than I have stated on this blog, so why do the work if you don't have to? I'm too busy writing catfights and post-wedding battles as we speak.

(I've pasted the article below but in case you wanted to see the original you could follow this link.)

To be clear, the first Desire series-- currently titled "Table For Three" but that might change-- starts in the Summer, but the 65 episodes I'm working on will premiere in the Fall; don't worry, I'll let you all know when mine hits.
----- Breaking News

Twentieth's Telenovela Targeted for Summer

By John Eggerton -- Broadcasting & Cable, 1/23/2006 2:57:00 PM

The telenovela market could get very crowded this summer.

Twentieth Television Monday said it is fast-tracking its first-run syndicated Desire strip for a summer launch.

The announcement comes on the heels of executives from CBS, NBC and ABC outlining potential plans for similar projects to critics at the Television Critics Association press tour in Los Angeles.

Twentieth says Desire, which has been cleared in 65% of the country, will launch in June.

Telenovelas, which have scored for Spanish-language networks like Univision, are traditionally five-day-a-week soap operas.

While a Twentieth spokesperson said the summer launch had always been a possibility, since the Fox owned-and-operated television stations have wanted the shows for a summer roll-out, the move also makes sense if one or more of the broadcast networks come out with telenovelas this summer.

Waiting until after the summer could have left the Twentieth show lost in the shuffle behind the network telenovelas, including from a promotional standpoint.

Additionally, if one or more network telenovelas debuted and then bombed, negative perception of the genre could have hurt Desire even before it launched.

Twentieth’s telenovela will be structured in a 65-episode arc and run every weekday for 13 consecutive weeks. The storyline closes at the end of each arc.

Twentieth also is adding a one-hour weekend episode featuring highlights from the previous week’s storyline.

Twentieth says it plans to produce and distribute at least three telenovelas per year. The series will be distributed on a cash-plus-barter basis, with a 10.5 local-3.5 national split of ad minutes per hour-long episode.

While Twentieth made the first telenovela announcement, the format has created a stir, with the broadcast networks exploring opportunities in the genre, though none has greenlighted a project yet.

NBC is looking at adapting co-owned Telemundo’s Body of Desire, a telenovela which could air multiple times per week.

CBS says it has five telenovela projects in development and is also aiming to have one ready for the summer. ABC also is developing one, though Entertainment President Steve McPherson says his network is in an “exploratory phase.”

It would be unlikely any of the broadcast-network projects, should they launch, would run more than a couple times per week.

Hooters Birthdays and Lesbian Baby Showers

Steve and I lead such odd, but highly satisfying, lives.

We discussed this fact on Sunday night after looking back at our weekend. It started on Friday night when Brian Dailey celebrated one of his many 30th birthdays at Hooters on Hollywood Boulevard. It's a great location with a view of Mann's Chinese theater, so if you ever visit LA it's a fun location because you're in the middle of all the action (heh... "Action".) This pic is of Steve and I with our favorite "Hooter" picture.

You have to love a big gay and lesbian (with one straight woman) party at Hooters because we ain't there for the jugs but we do have a good time playing around with the ladies. I think the waitresses love us because we tip well. And don't oogle. And we say, "Thank you." And dress nicely.

Anyway, the hotwings and chicken strips were lovely, the mozzarella sticks were nice, and the French fries were yummy. The nachos? Not so much. (I'd do some funny word play there, but it just seems like too much work.) They had Cheese Wiz type sauce with some mystery meat and beans. Not that we didn't devour them, they just weren't that great. Afterwards we felt fat, though that could have been the beer. So many calories...

Here is a picture of Brian getting a birthday Hokey Pokey dance from the waitresses. The other two women sitting around him were for another party containing a group of homo-thugs and lesbians. Who knew the Hooters was the new gay hangout? Once again, we have accidentally stumbled upon the pulse of America.

We then went out drinking and since Steve and I have been hermits we over did it. Saturday was a wash, but then Sunday we went to our friends, Lynn and Michelle's, baby shower; here is the happy couple now...
Lynn and Michelle have been together for a little bit longer than Steve and I, and they've been really great friends to us from the start. When Steve and I, along with friends Meghan and Molly (pictured here), did our major hike in Hawaii we even stayed at Michelle's family's house before heading into the jungle.

Anyway, the day was so amazing, filled with generous people who were all there to support Lynn and Michelle's chosen family. That's the thing I don't think a lot of the Christian Right people understand about queer families because they're so caught up in their fear or dogmatic beliefs. Queers have had to travel infinitely difficult paths to build our lives and create safe communities for ourselves where we can live together and have children. Anyone named Britney or Kevin can poke a hole and get preggers while drinking Redbull and eating sushi or Cheetos-- that's a display of love, huh? Or they can get drunk in Vegas, married, and then divorced in an hour. That's definitely a testament to the sanctity of the American Family.

But you know what? I would love to witness even one of these so-called Christians at an event like we attended on Sunday.

To see and feel all that love for these two women and their baby, as well as respecting that many of the other same-sex couples there were all parents as well, really filled the area with a sense of love, meaning, and purpose that no political rally can ever communicate. If there was ever a place where I saw the love of God in action, it was during this beautiful afternoon.

And there was drag queen bingo. Really. You straight people have so much to learn about hosting a proper baby shower.

WORD OF THE WEEEEEKKKKKKK!!!!! (Jan. 23)

The word of the week is: Handifat
Definition:
Noun. A person who uses an overweight condition to label himself or herself as handicapped, generally at locations such as amusement parks or other long-walking venues where one could lose weight through physical movement but not be granted access to the front of the line. Also... Adjective. To describe a person as being handifat.

In a sentence:
Rick and Steve wait in line at Disneyland's Space Mountain ride for 45-minutes. Once they finally reach the front of the line they are told to wait as two large women-- covered in collectible pins because it's all the rage-- sitting in electric wheelchairs arrive via the express elevator, easily step out of their chairs, and load themselves onto the ride.
STEVE: Why do they get to bypass the line?
RICK: Because they are handifat.

New Years, New Blogs, & New Websites...

Hello Pretty People.

Well here is a missing photo from New Years. Turned out, I had changed the file names which was why my photo program couldn't find them. Nice. That's what you get for messing with photos late in the night when you should be writing bitchy telenovela dialogue. Ay, Dios mio!.
So here are some fun things that I think everyone should check out since none of you all want to be working right now anyway...

Fun FREE Greeting Cards

As some of you know, I used to have a greeting card that could be purchased in stores. It was from NobleWorks, and actually you can still find it in some of those wacky gift shops with humor cards if they have back stock. Anyway, NobleWorks is offering free online cards which are pretty dang funny and better than the flowery ones from other companies (unless you're sending it to Mom, in which case those are perfectly fine.)

These are a couple samples, but just go to The Horny Rabbit and you can check out more of them. No, they don't have mine up there and I'm very sad about that, but I do believe in the company and think that if you want some wacky fun they are great free things to read and send out.

Remember Shazam!

Okay, so I know I'm a big comic book geek but it's been years since I've seen the old Shazam from Filmation. Yes, I've seen Isis, duh, I mean seriously! But anyway, Vincent who was in town pointed out that there were two men who played Shazam-- I assume Billy was the same guy, as was Mentor, otherwise I would have noticed something. The original Shazam was Jackson Bostwick; I wonder if he's related to Barry. Anyway, Jackson actually has a website, and really, if you're unable to travel the highways and byways of America in a Winnebago why not visit his site?

TV Guide's Watercooler

I love TVGuide.com's watercooler section, which basically recaps what happened with funny commentary, and it's not just because my friend Dave Anderson is one of those awesome writers; but it doesn't hurt. Anyway, Dave covers Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy, Nip/Tuck and ER. AND when it comes back on TV, Being Bobby Brown. If you love those shows you should seriously check out his stuff. He's awesome.

And Some Blogs...

Two buddies of mine have finally gotten their blogs going.

Pre-Read: Film, Books and Life

From my friend David Glanzer. It's thoughtful and fun and looks at film and pop culture from a different perspective than most blogs. Where others cover the bitchy stuff, David hits it with his own opinions but from a more historical perspective. It's a nice change.

Where There's A Wil

My friend Wil Whalen is a military vet and a pretty savvy dude who initially contacted me because of our similar love for Xanadu. Okay, there was other pop culture stuff, but whatever. Anyway, his blog just started and he talks about having sex with a Muppet. Not that he has, but he's been nearby. I can't wait to see more.

That's all for now. We're into the weekend again, still writing up a storm and loving it. Next week I gear up for more restaurant reviews. So much for that diet...

This past weekend

And what a weekend it was! My new friend Vincent-- who is a lover of Wonder Woman like myself-- was in town from New York and we finally got to meet over lunch. He's such a doll. He originally contacted me after reading Mondo Homo and we've stayed in touch. Here's a picture of him with his friend Eligah during our lunch at Gaucho Grill in The Valley (Yeah, I know, but it was close to Eligah's home.).

Vincent, Steve, Eligah and I talked all things TV and just hung out, making for a very pleasant afternoon; FYI, Vincent is a stand up comic and he's met Olivia Newton John (Kindred spirits...?). Here's a link to Vincent's website. Steve and I were even able to stay on our diets, which was perfect since we knew we'd be drinking that evening at our friend Sarah's cocktail party, while Vincent went out for some homo-thug love at The Catch One here in LA.

Here is a random photo of Vincent and Eligah on the set of The Price is Right, which Steve and I had nothing to do with but I think the photo is cute so I wanted to post it. Steve and I now want to go and visit the set ourselves, because wouldn't this make the perfect Christmas card? I think so.

Sunday morning, rested and fresh, Steve said it would be fun if we went to Disneyland and checked out the new Monster's Inc. ride at Disney's California Adventure. Well, ya see, that's the beauty of dating a man who designs toys for Disney-- WE HAVE A FREE PASSES! So we called up our friends Brian Dailey and Rodney Alexander Griffis, and the next thing you know we were in the Happiest Place on Earth (Made all the more pleasant because the lines for rides were short; well, except for that Monster's Inc. ride, but it was hella cute.)

Here we are at The Three fairies Magic Crystal shop which, if you're gay and not a drug addict, is pretty funny.

As we drove into the Disney parking structure, Steve made a very astute observation. "Being at Disneyland always makes me hungry..." and so we had our official cheat day and ate our way through the Magic Kingdom. Pizza slices at the Pizza Port (but a salad on the side so we could pretend to be healthy), a Chipwich ice cream sandwich-- thankfully we shared that with the other boys, and Brian and Rodney even had beers at Ariel's Grotto (or as Rodney called it, Ariel's Ghetto) over in California Adventure. And I don't know why Rodney, Brian and I were so excited about the corndog, but we were.

Yummy!

WORD OF THE WEEEEEKKKKKKK!!!!! (Jan 16)

The word of the week is: Prevenge
(supplied by Rodney Alexabder Griffis)
Definition: Verb. The act of getting "even" or settling a score with someone before they have the opportunity to piss you off; ie, to get revenge early.

In a sentence:
Rodney is out with his friends Brian and Allen, when he sees Allen giving some Hot Young Stud the eye. Allen gets up and goes to the bathroom, smiling at Hot Young Stud on his way.

RODNEY: Oy! Hot young stud. Come here.
HYS: Hey.
RODNEY: My friend has crabs. Would you like me to buy you a drink?
HYS leaves.
BRIAN: Why would you do that to Allen?
RODNEY: Because you know Allen will do something to piss me off later in the night. It was prevenge!

(Please note, it's difficult to find images for verbs. So here's some random HYT.)

The Diet Continues...

Happy Friday the 13th.
It's very difficult being on a diet and being a Halfrican American. When I lived in other (read: more vain) parts of LA it was so much easier. I would see beautiful people all the time and feel this natural need to keep up. But remember that now I live in an area where there are childhood obesity billboard decorating the lard-lined streets and so it seems less important.dSteve and I are doing the South Beach diet's first two weeks again, which scored us rave reviews the last time we tried it out. It just seems the most sensible diet to us because it's all about eating lean meats and vegetables and not going crazy on fatty items like you do on the Atkins diet (or as Steve calls it, "Fatkins"). The food isn't so much the problem because we both love to cook and we know how to use both the South Beach recipes as well as adapting our own to make some incredible meals (you should try our faux friend chicken that uses macadamia nuts to create the crust. YUM!). But the problem? No booze!

Now I don't want you to think me a lush-- heaven forbid-- but for these first two weeks we have to give up cocktails. Too much sugar, usually consumed at night when the metabolism slows down, and when we're drunk we latch onto comfort food like burgers, pizza and fries. It's just all a bad combination. But after a hard week of work there's nothing like a nice bottle of wine (for each of us) to level the playing field... No wonder the people in AA love cigarettes and coffee so much. You need something for that edge.

Anyway, we're plugging along and this Saturday will be our first day to have one alcoholic drink. I'm sure my liver is thanking me even as I type this. And speaking from experience, once you've passed through these first two weeks it's much easier to keep things in balance so I can clearly see the light at the end of the tunnel.

But I swear to God if I have to walk through my neighborhood and smell the scent of hot dogs, warm tortillas, and fresh carne asada one more time before that Saturday arrives I just may eat the next fat child that crosses my path.

Fun fashions, photos and more!

For a portion of New Year's Eve, Echo Park had a blackout. It was right in the middle of Pretty Woman no less! So Steve and I ran into the bedroom, lit some candles, put batteries in our i-Pod stereo and had a little party. Here we are taking silly photos.

Oh wait... MY FRICKIN' I-PHOTO PROGRAM ISN'T WORKING! I downloaded the photos, they're clearly visible on the list, and yet I can't open any photos. What's ironic is that I did mess with them and we posted one already on the blog, so I'm not sure what happened. I'm annoyed. I'll see if I can figure it out at some point because they're hella cute.

On the political front from my friend Mike Shadoan in Cincinnati comes this pictures...


Last Friday our friends Michael and Loretta Rymer came over to see the new house. I first met Michael while working on the film In Too Deep for Miramax. It starred Omar Epps, Nia Long, Stanley Tucci, LL Cool J and Miss Pam Grier-- I was quite popular in black film for a number of years. Anyway, Michael directed that, and then when I left development and needed a job to help pay the rent since my freelance writing hadn't taken off, I worked for Michael on Queen of the Damned. Um... yeah. But it was great fun, paid the rent for a LONG time (films get pushed when your star dies and then September 11th happens a week later), gave me my first and thus far only feature film role (okay, in voice over), and really brought Steve and I into the Rymers' lives.

Then Michael got a script to direct the original Battlestar Gallactica mini series for SciFi. Now I would like to say that I encouraged him to direct it-- and I did-- but he'd already read the material and loved it so my opinion didn't do much. But it makes me feel close. Anyway, we love the show and they brought us a super cool poster; unfortunately, the show is shot in Canada and there's no way we can become extras on the show because of immigration laws; they have this silly notion that they could just as easily hire a Canadian to stand around and look cute or get killed. Fools!

FASHION SHORTS TO CHECK OUT!

My friend Tom Ford sent me this link for LowTee. Seriously, this could be the funniest and coolest swimwear I have EVER seen! Here's the write up from the website:

Philip Heckman's LowTee offers men's swimwear a unique, one of a kind touch seldom seen in resort or beach attire. Each piece is handcrafted by the designer himself from vintage logo and concert t-shirts fulfilling a commitment to make each swimsuit a distinct original. Paying special attention to detail, their vintage cut and retro style graphics have made them a favorite among pop culture buffs and anyone who wants to stand out in a crowd.

Anyway, I love them and if I could wear a speedo cut I would; with a bum like mine it's preferable to stay away from anything too form fitting otherwise you look like an old Underalls commercial; and speaking of that, don't you all think they should bring them back? (Tink! Tink!)

Richard Andreoli and Friends' In & Out for 2006!

As Heidi Klum says every week on the fabulous show Project Runway, "You're either 'in' or you're 'out'." And so too does it go for things that are hot or not in the world every new year.

When 2004 ended and 2005 began, a group of friends and I rented a house in Palm Springs and had a blast. We ate tons of food, drank a lot, and watched VH-1 and Food Network while hung over the next morning. I would post photos here, but alas my computer died before the move and I lost them all.

But one thing we did create was the In & Out List for 2005. It was very funny. I posted it on my website but then took it off when business associates started reading it. Why? Well, it's not great to have a publicist look at you over filet mignon and say, "So, Richard, you really think Dirty Sanchez is 'in' this year, huh?..."

Yeah. Nice. Then just last week my friend Rodney Alexander Griffis-- who was in that same home on New Years-- sent this from Page Six:
INS & OUTS

NANNY-loving movie star Jude Law is "out," while nightcrawling New York Observer columnist George Gurley is "in?" So says the Washington Post in its recent "In and Out" list.... The paper also declared Lindsay Lohan was out, superseded by the in Kristin Cavallari, of MTVs "Laguna Beach." Among comedians, Sarah Silverman, out; Amy Poehler, in; Will Ferrell, out; Steve Carell, in. Of actors, Kirsten Dunst, out; Rachel McAdams, in. Likewise, Johnny Knoxville, out; Dane Cook, in.

To which our friend Brian Dailey (who was also in the house and is now pictured here) sent this back: "Sarah Silverman will NEVER be out.... and Johnny Knoxville will ALWAYS be in.....my dreams..."

Which is all a long-winded way of saying we came up with our own list for 2006. Mind you, none of us were drunk or hung over this time-- at least I hope not since everyone did this during the last work week-- but here it goes.

IN & OUT FOR 2006

Starting with ones that are somewhat inside...
OUT: Hollywood Hills
IN: Echo Park! (where Steve and I now live, yo!)


OUT: Saddle Ranch
IN: Hooters

OUT: Lame characters on TV.
IN: Richard creating characters for telenovellas by using his friends' names.

AND LOCAL BARS...
OUT: Here Lounge
IN: East West Lounge

AND NOW FOR THE REST...
OUT: E! Networks (for hiring Ryan Seacrest to replace Kathy Griffin at awards shows)
IN: ABC (for producing Grey's Anatomy)


OUT: Jealousy
IN: Revenge

OUT: Being SHADY
IN: Being Straight Forward

OUT: Adopting Asian babies
IN: Adopting African babies

OUT: Saying, "I am a divorcee..."
IN: Saying, "I am in between husbands (or wives)."

OUT: Boring Political Madonna

IN: Fun dancey Madonna

OUT: Working to pay the bills
IN: Sugar Daddies

OUT: Long Distance Relationships
IN: Long Distance Road Trips with friends (Skiing anyone?)

OUT: Tom Cruisazy
IN: Eric Bana (or pretty much ANY other male actor except Brad Pitt!)

OUT: Early 20’s
IN: Mid 30’s

OUT:Ashtonon Kutcher
IN: Wentworth Miller (Yummy)

OUT: Crackhead Performance Artists
IN: Well-Educated Porn Stars

AND FOR OUR MORE ADVENTUROUS READERS....
OUT: Skull F**king
IN: Tongue Banging

Special thanks to my aforementioned friends and tongue bangers, BD, Danielle, Rodney, Alicia, Allen, and of course, Steve.

DOUBLE WORD OF THE WEEEEEKKKKKKK!!!!!

Since I was out last week working on the telenovela, I thought I'd bring you a double-header this week. Please note that this is loosely based on a true story...

The words for this week are: Tranwreck and that old favorite Gender Bender
Tranwreck Definition: Noun. A person, generally of male to female (MTF) transgendered origin, who looks and acts like a complete and total mess.


Used in a scene:
Rick and Steve are driving down the street in Hollywood when suddenly Rick spots someone.
RICK: Oh my God, honey. Is that Pete Burns from the band Dead or Alive?

Steve peers out the window as the questionable woman on the sidewalk deliberately drops her handkerchief so that she can bend down and show her panties to passing cars. She then pops up and puckers her lips in an "ooops!" smile.
STEVE: No! Pete is currently on Big Brother in the UK; and here's a publicity picture of him. That woman over there is just some tranwreck.



Rick and Steve continue to stare at shim while traveling down the road. Suddenly, they hear a horn! A squeal of tires! And then a CRASH as they're jolted back and forth in Rick's Hyundai.
STEVE: What happened?
RICK: We just caused a gender bender.