Relative Insanity: Reasons Why I Love My Nephew and Niece

This is Joseph and Maria, my nephew and niece who live in Florida. They were out for the big family gathering, and after Comic-Con weekend they came up to hang with Guncles Rick & Steve for a couple days.1. They preface school stories with things like, "I feel sorry for Mrs. Teacher because she can be nice, but..." and then eagerly tell me about pranks other students play on the teacher.

2. These stories are actually funny.

3. When these kids laugh, they laugh so hard they cry. Sometimes they snort.

4. When I took them to Raging Waters because they thought it might be like Disney's water parks in Florida, I was horrified to discover that RW really looked like Ghetto Disney. Slow service, no smiles, lots of half-assed broken props statues and fake rocks. I worry it will suck.

Then my niece says, "It looks like they bought everything at Walmart." We all laugh and immediately hit the slides.

5. When you take them out to lunch, they have a tough time deciding between chicken strips or hamburgers because they don't think I should pay that much money for park food.

6. They love spending the night in our house because it's, "Small and cool and was on TV." (him) or "It's so cute and small and you have stuffed animals that want to sleep with me." (her)

7. When you give him movie swag or her a Tinkerbell snow globe Steve made, she squeals and asks for an autograph while he keeps staring at his new shirt like it's a treasure.

8. When you ask what they want for dinner, they say, "Whatever's easy."

9. When you explain to her that Taco Bell from Florida is not real Mexican food, she is willing to give the cuisine a second shot... and doesn't complain when it turns out to be Steve's and my healthy fajitas.

10. They get really excited about discovering new things. Like when Joseph read my diploma and learned that my middle name is Joseph, too!

11. He likes listening to NPR and asks questions about racism, politics, and other stuff that makes me feel smart.

12. They don't blink when Steve and I talk about how we met, dated, and moved in together.

13. When you take them any place that costs money--movie, restaurant, parking garage-- they offer to pay using the $40 grandma gave them for fun money. EVERY TIME.

14. The only thing they end up buying with the money? Gifts for their mom, dad, and grandma. (And some $2 Tinkerbell stickers for Maria-- some of which Steve drew-- because Joseph wanted her to have a souvenir as well.)

15. They love Hairspray The Movie, love that we know tidbits about John Waters, Ricki Lake, director Adam Shankman and others being in the film, and then sing along to the soundtrack as we drive home.

But the best part?

16. When you make some silly comment about getting old, they say...
Joseph: You're not old! You're like an older brother.
Maria: Yeah! You don't look old! And you make us laugh.

What's not to love?