How do I get through it? I have a running list of all the "executive expressions" that bug.
Executive Expressions
"To your point..." - Used when someone has gone off on a tangent and realizes they haven't actually addressed the point you just made."That being said..." - Again, a phrase that brings us back to the point.
"To be clear, what I mean is..." - And again, you were babbling.
"Now more than ever..." - Really? Is it really THAT dramatic?
"Take this offline..." - Let's stop boring everyone else in this meeting and discuss our personal issues/projects/whatevers after.
"Do we have the bandwidth..." - We want to know if we can get this shit done, but we're trying to sound hip when we ask it even though we're all kind of geeks.
"Let me dig into this..." - Study the information, but again, we're trying to sound hip when we ask it even though we're all kind of geeks.
"Let's sync up..." - Let's hook up to go over something important, and once again we're trying to sound hip when we ask it even though we're all kind of geeks.
"You've gotta take BIG swings..." - Because this is P.E. class? Thanks. I worked out already this morning.
If you have favorite annoying work expressions, please post them in the comments section. I think we should all feel your pain.
I also have a bunch of snappy lines I toss out at meetings because I MUST amuse myself in some way before I go insane. Some of these are blatantly stolen from TV shows or movies; I'll list those later.
12 comments:
I hear all of these whenever I have teleconferences with the big pharma companies that we do contract work for, they sound like morons. This isn't an expression but whenever I'm in these teleconferences if you ask a question and nobody knows the answer they always say they are going to schedule a meeting to find out. I don't know why they can't just email to find the answer. It's like they have meetings to plan more meetings.
my biggest pet peeve that i have turned into an expression is when my boss gives me this pile of work that is all "priority-top of the plate" and then he will ask me to do something else so I always say "Let me stop your work to do your work" Everything can't all be a priority-let's pick one and stick with it. ;0
Ew! I thought of another one.
"Low hanging fruit..." - As in, grab hold of any easy-to-reach profit that's just sitting there in plain sight.
But to me the expression always sounds like you're talking about a fags testicles.
HeeHee! Low hanging fruit. Before I even finished reading the description I got the giggles.
I have one that really drives me crazy.
The bottom line is.....
I dont know why but it grates on my nerves. The guy uses it everyday. He will use it like this... Bottom line is we are late for a smoke break.
Bottom line is I am starving.
He never uses it in business situations or in reference to work stuff.
"I'll Download the information." or "I'll upload you on everything" Really? Honestly? You're trying to be hip and cool by talking about yourself like you're a god damn computer?
Hey, news flash! We are CARBON based, not Silicon Based. You are NOT cool nor hip when you use language to attempt the mystique of being hip and cool.
"Synergy" or "Synergize" anything. FTW?! When did the office become the secret headquarters for JEM and the Holograms?
My personal favorite was someone telling me in a meeting that they were going to "parking lot" the information I just gave them... i.e., save it for now and come back to it later.
On the other hand, my favorite expression ever was from an old boss, who, after being told something he just couldn't deal with because it was annoying, stupid, and horrifying all the same time was: "I'm just going to put that in the happy box and move on." I imagine a segment of one's brain bursting with things we hear and just don't want to address.
"Maximize synergies" has always been a cringe-worthy favorite. However, I had a boss who used to say "The net-net is..." and I always wanted to ask, what the hell does that mean?
Can you send that to me in "hardcopy" or Do you have that in "soft copy".
On a related topic, why does a certain colleage ALWAYS see me in the hallway or at the photocopier on Monday morning and ask me what I did the previous weekend? Why does she care? Is she keeping a list? Does she really want me to recite a litany of kids' soccer games, laundry, grocery shopping, watching TV, etc. that is virtually identical to the previous weekend's activity? (OK, I lead a boring life. Sue me.) People who ask mindless questions like this wear me out. I actively avoid them. And, I certainly do not want to ask her what she did last weekend because I have zero interest in hearing the answer.
"With that being said...." makes my eyes and ears bleed. When did we become so reliant on that ridiculous, pompous phrase? When I run across that phrase, I turn the other way and run immediately, as it's guaranteed nothing worthwhile is to follow.
"I will be out of pocket" = Don't f-ing call me, I am on vacation...
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