Tonight is the company's annual Christmas party, and compared to what Steve's office is doing (a potluck lunch) we've got a really decked out affair: dinner at the Park Plaza (former hotel, now an event venue-- the ballroom is pictured here), sit down dinner, prizes like i-Phones (plural), wine country trips, $1000 gift card for an airline, and tons of other things. They also have open bar, and if I haven't mentioned this before, the owner and employees love their liquor. Fortunately, Steve is coming (yes, spouses, partners and dates are invited) and he will keep me in check because there's nothing worse than coming in Monday and having to face all the photos (dancing shirtless or trying out insane circus tricks) that will be stored on the company's shared drive.We also get a half day today, so that all the ladies can get their hair "did" and I can shave or whatever. Because of all this, I'm strapped on time and talent, but thanks to friend and funny lady, Amy Witry and others, I'm going to leave you with one of our favorite segments: Annoying Expressions From the Office!
Annoying Expressions From the Office
"Well SOMEONE drank the company Kool-Aid." "SOMEBODY better start drinking the company Kool-Aid if they want to stay working here."- What? Who are you? Elizabeth Hasselbeck? THERE IS NO KOOL-AID! Kool-Aid is a drink and no one is drinking anything you frickin' idiot. ("Ohhhh yeeeaaaahhhh!")"That being said..."- So basically you just wasted our time with your first long-ass monologue and are now going to say, "Yes."
"At the end of the day..."- What, are you about to sing the opening line from Les Miserables? "At the end of the day you're another day older..." Because if you are, I'm going to bust out a mean barricade box shuffle.
"To be honest..." or "To tell the truth..." - No, please continue lying like you have been during all those meetings when the boss is around and you've been kissing ass. Don't try to be all "honest" and shit with me like we're now going to be friends.
"Let's start thinking outside the box..." - Yes, because thinking inside the box is EXACTLY what I've been doing. Because everyone knows that up until this season, boxes were totally in fashion-- especially with mimes. But now I understand that I need to move on. Thanks.
"Who drank my Diet Coke?" - Ew. That one came from Amy and I don't have a response. But really? Do you want the answer (unless there was rum in it)?
Please feel free to leave your favorite expressions.
3 comments:
"We need to DRILL DOWN on that..."
Can't we just concentrate on it instead? ARGH!!! I feel my head exploding every time I hear that expression.
--Joe
"I'll UPLOAD you the information."
What???!!!
Since when did we become silicone based binary lifeforms? Can't you just INFORM ME?!!!!
"back in the day..."
how old are we anyways? 30? or 130? And what day are we talking about... Was that really that long ago?
People use it for non-work things to to reference their childhood. Like when they want to refer to the great days when they were 10. I can see if you wanted to refer to the 1800's but 1980's?
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